Why Mood Changes Before Your Period Feel So Intense (PMS and Self Criticism Explained)

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Many people notice changes in mood, self criticism and emotional sensitivity in the days or weeks before their period.

You might find that you feel more irritable, more overwhelmed, or more critical of yourself than usual. Thoughts that normally feel manageable can suddenly seem heavier or more convincing.

For some people, this can feel confusing or discouraging. It can even lead to the sense that something has gone wrong, or that they are “back at square one”.

For some people these changes are part of premenstrual syndrome (PMS), while others may experience more severe symptoms known as Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD). These experiences are more common than many people realise and can have a significant impact on mood and wellbeing.

When we look at this through a psychological lens, it can begin to make more sense.

From a Compassion Focused Therapy perspective, we might understand this differently.

Our minds and bodies are not static systems. They are influenced by natural biological rhythms, including hormonal changes across the menstrual cycle. During the part of the cycle that happens before menstruation begins, many people notice shifts in mood, energy and emotional sensitivity.

This phase is often referred to as the luteal phase of the menstrual cycle.

For some people the emotional shifts during this phase may last several days, while for others they can continue for a week or even longer before menstruation begins.

Hormonal changes during this time can sometimes increase the sensitivity of our threat system, the part of the brain that scans for danger and activates self protection. When this system becomes more active, it can make the self critical voice louder and the compassionate voice harder to access.

Often nothing has “gone wrong”. The system has simply become more sensitive, and that calls for compassion rather than criticism.

Understanding this can be incredibly relieving. Instead of interpreting these shifts as personal failure, they can be recognised as a predictable change in state that calls for a different kind of care.

One helpful way of responding to this is by creating a compassionate care plan for this phase of the cycle.

In my work as a psychological therapist, I often find that recognising these patterns and planning compassionate responses in advance can make this phase feel much more understandable and manageable.

Rather than waiting until difficult days arrive and then feeling caught off guard, a care plan helps you anticipate what tends to happen and prepare compassionate responses in advance.

The aim isn’t to get rid of these feelings completely. Instead, it is about learning how to relate to yourself with understanding and kindness when your system is feeling more vulnerable.

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How to Create a Compassionate Care Plan for Mood Changes Before Your Period

Below is a simple guide you might use to begin creating your own compassionate care plan.

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1. Early warning signs

What are the early signs that this phase of your cycle may be beginning?

These might include changes in mood, energy, sleep, physical sensations or irritability. Noticing these signals early can help you recognise what is happening before self criticism becomes louder.

2. Changes in thinking

Many people notice their thinking patterns shift during this phase.

You might find yourself:

• becoming more self critical

• catastrophising about situations

• comparing yourself more to others

• using harsh “should” statements

• interpreting emotions as evidence that everything is going wrong

Recognising these patterns can help you step back and see them as part of a familiar cycle rather than objective truths.

3. The self critic voice

How does your self critic tend to speak during this phase?

What kinds of messages does it give you?

Externalising the self critic can help create some distance from it and reduce the sense that its voice represents fact.

4. A compassionate response

What might your compassionate voice say in response?

In Compassion Focused Therapy we often work on developing a compassionate perspective that is understanding, wise and supportive.

During more difficult phases of the cycle this might sound like:

“This makes sense. My system is more sensitive right now.”

“I don’t need to push myself in the same way today.”

“I can care for myself gently during this phase.”

5. Adjusting expectations

Self compassion often involves adjusting expectations rather than pushing harder.

You might consider:

• reducing pressure around productivity

• allowing more rest

• choosing gentler forms of movement

• lowering expectations of what you “should” achieve

Responding with flexibility rather than criticism can reduce unnecessary suffering during this phase.

6. Helpful strategies

What tends to help you feel even slightly more supported during this time?

These might include simple activities such as gentle movement, warm drinks, spending time with supportive people, creative activities or quiet rest.

The goal is not perfection, but small acts of care.

7. Soothing the nervous system

Many people find comfort in simple sensory experiences.

For example:

• warmth

• cosy environments

• calming music

• comforting rituals

• quiet, low pressure activities

These experiences help activate the body’s soothing system, which supports emotional regulation.

8. Support from others

If you feel comfortable, it may also help to consider how others could support you during this time.

This might include:

• listening and validating how you feel

• offering practical help

• spending quiet time together

• respecting your need for rest

Communicating these needs in advance can make support easier to access.

9. Compassionate reminders

Finally, it can be helpful to write a few reminders you would like to return to when things feel most intense.

For example:

• this feeling is temporary

• my system is more sensitive right now

• I can respond to myself with kindness

• I don’t have to solve everything today

Sometimes simply remembering that this phase will pass can soften the intensity of the experience.

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Bringing Compassion Into the Therapy Room

In my work I often encourage clients to come to therapy exactly as they are, including during the more difficult phases of their cycle.

There can be a lot of pressure to only show up when we feel composed, productive or emotionally steady. But therapy is often most helpful when people bring the parts of themselves that feel tired, overwhelmed or self critical.

All versions of you are welcome in the therapy room.

That might mean arriving wrapped in a blanket with a hot water bottle, in comfy joggers and a messy bun, or simply feeling a little more fragile than usual.

When the threat system is more sensitive, it makes sense that we may need more gentleness rather than more pressure.

Compassionate work begins with allowing these states to be seen and understood rather than hidden.

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When to Seek Support

If mood changes linked to your menstrual cycle feel severe or overwhelming, it may be helpful to speak with a GP or mental health professional. Conditions such as Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) are more common than many people realise and support is available.

Therapy can also offer a space to develop compassionate ways of understanding your internal experiences and responding to yourself with care across different phases of the cycle.

If you recognise some of these patterns in yourself, therapy can provide a place to explore them with curiosity and compassion, and to develop ways of supporting yourself through different phases of your cycle.

You can read more about the therapy I offer through Compassionate Therapy Practice in Banstead, Surrey, or get in touch if you would like to arrange an initial assessment.