Compassion Focused Therapy in Surrey | In Person in Banstead and Online UK

Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)

A compassionate and evidence based approach in Surrey and online | Adults, teenagers and children

If you have found your way here, you might already be feeling tired of being hard on yourself.
Perhaps your mind rarely slows down, or you notice a strong inner critic that keeps pushing even when you are exhausted.

Compassion Focused Therapy offers a different way of working. Rather than trying to force change, we begin by making sense of how your nervous system learned to protect you, and how self-criticism, shame, or anxiety may have developed over time.

You do not need to arrive knowing exactly what is wrong. Sometimes simply recognising that things feel heavy or stuck is enough of a place to begin.

What is Compassion Focused Therapy and how can it help?

Compassion Focused Therapy is grounded in psychology, neuroscience, and attachment research. It helps you understand how different emotional systems in the brain shape your thoughts, feelings and responses, and how compassion can bring these back into balance.

Many people come to CFT because they notice:

• strong self criticism or shame
• feeling “not good enough” despite trying hard
• anxiety that feels constant or exhausting
• emotional overwhelm followed by shutdown
• difficulty feeling warmth toward themselves even when they understand things logically

Rather than challenging you to think differently straight away, CFT helps you build a kinder internal relationship with yourself. Over time, this can soften the intensity of anxiety, self doubt, and emotional pain.

A Compassionate and Relational Approach

At Compassionate Therapy Practice, CFT sits at the heart of how we work together.

We move slowly and thoughtfully, recognising that self criticism often developed for a reason. Instead of pushing it away, we become curious about what it has been trying to do for you.

Together we begin to strengthen your capacity to respond to yourself with warmth rather than pressure, while making sense of the patterns and protective strategies that have shaped your experiences over time. Many clients describe feeling more grounded, less alone with their experiences, and more able to approach life with steadiness rather than urgency.

Compassion here is not about forcing positivity. It is about developing a supportive internal voice that can hold difficult moments without harsh judgement.

What CFT Sessions Feel Like

Sessions are collaborative, reflective, and gently paced.

Some people imagine compassion focused work means talking about feelings constantly. In reality, sessions often include:

• understanding how your nervous system responds under stress
• noticing patterns between thoughts, emotions, and body sensations
• imagery and compassionate mind training practices
• developing new ways of relating to yourself when the self critic shows up

• grounding practices that help your nervous system settle

You do not need to perform or “do therapy perfectly.” We build things together, step by step, at a pace that feels manageable.

Who CFT Can Support

Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) can be helpful for adults and young people who notice:

• long standing anxiety or low mood
• perfectionism, high self pressure, or burnout
• trauma related shame, self criticism, or self blame
• social anxiety or fear of judgement
• feeling disconnected from warmth, reassurance, or compassion internally

CFT is not simply about coping strategies. Together, we build a shared understanding of how your experiences, relationships, and nervous system patterns have shaped the way you relate to yourself and the world. This includes gently exploring key fears, protective strategies, and the unintended consequences that may keep you feeling stuck.

Over time, we develop a compassionate formulation that helps make sense of your history and current patterns, while strengthening new ways of responding to yourself through compassionate mind training.

For some people, CFT remains the central focus of therapy. For others, it sits alongside approaches such as EMDR or CBT as part of a personalised, integrative process. The therapy adapts to you, not the other way around.

Compassion Focused Therapy:
Frequently Asked Questions

Do I have to feel compassionate towards myself straight away?

Not at all. Many people arrive feeling unsure, or even resistant to the idea of self compassion, especially if self criticism has been a long standing way of coping.

We begin by understanding how your mind learned to protect you. Compassion develops gradually and naturally over time. There is no expectation to force feelings that are not there yet.

Is CFT just about positive thinking?

Compassion Focused Therapy is not about pretending things are fine or replacing thoughts with forced positivity.

Instead, we explore how your nervous system has learned to respond to threat and pressure, and how to develop a steadier, more supportive way of relating to yourself. The work is grounded in psychology and neuroscience, and often feels practical as well as reflective.

What happens during a CFT session?

Sessions are collaborative, reflective, and gently paced. Some sessions involve talking and making sense of patterns together, while others include imagery, compassionate mind training, or noticing how thoughts, emotions, and body sensations interact.

You do not need to prepare anything in advance. We work with whatever feels most present for you in the moment.

Can Compassion Focused Therapy be adapted if I am autistic, ADHD, or neurodivergent?

Yes. Compassion Focused Therapy is always shaped around how you experience and make sense of the world, rather than expecting you to fit a fixed way of working. Some people prefer more structure or visual clarity, while others need a slower pace, different language, or alternative ways of exploring experiences.

Together, we develop a compassionate understanding of your thinking style, sensory needs, and nervous system patterns. This often becomes part of the formulation itself, helping you build a kinder relationship with yourself rather than feeling like you need to change who you are.

Many neurodivergent people find CFT helpful because it focuses on reducing self criticism and shame, while strengthening warmth and understanding towards parts of themselves that may have felt misunderstood in the past.

Can CFT help if I feel a lot of shame or self criticism?

Yes. Many people come to CFT because they feel stuck in cycles of self blame, harsh inner dialogue, or a sense of never being good enough.

Rather than trying to silence these parts of you, we begin by understanding their role and slowly creating more space for warmth and balance alongside them.

Is CFT suitable for teenagers or young people?

Compassion Focused Therapy can be adapted in a developmentally sensitive way for teenagers and young people. The work often focuses on helping them understand their emotions, reduce self pressure, and build a kinder relationship with themselves.

How sessions are structured will always depend on the individual and what feels helpful for them.

Do I have to talk about trauma in detail?

Not necessarily. Some people use CFT to build deeper understanding and compassion towards themselves without focusing on specific events. Others may choose to explore difficult experiences gradually as part of the work.

We move at a pace that feels manageable and collaborative, shaping the therapy around what feels right for you.