Understanding EMDR Therapy: A Compassionate Approach to Healing

chenelle
Oct 4
3 min read

Updated: Nov 5

If you’ve experienced something that still feels stuck — a memory that lingers, flashes up, or affects how you see yourself — **you’re not alone**.

Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is designed to **help your brain process those experiences **so they can **lose their emotional intensity** and **feel like part of your past,** rather than something that still lives in the present.

How EMDR Helps

When we go through something overwhelming, our brain’s natural processing system can become blocked. Instead of being stored as an ordinary memory, the experience can remain unprocessed. It carries the same emotions, sensations, and thoughts we had at the time.

EMDR helps to “unblock” this process. Through guided sets of eye movements or other forms of gentle bilateral stimulation, such as tapping or sound, EMDR activates both sides of the brain. This occurs while you safely revisit aspects of the memory. This allows the mind and body to reprocess what happened and file it away more adaptively.

Why Memories Can Feel Stuck

When something frightening or overwhelming happens, different parts of the brain jump into action. The amygdala acts like a security guard. It is quick to spot danger, sound the alarm, and prepare you to respond. The hippocampus works more like a librarian. It calmly catalogues what’s happened and places it on the right shelf so you can make sense of it later.

However, when the alarm is blaring, the librarian can’t concentrate. Think about how hard it would be to organise a library while a fire alarm is going off. Your body would tense, your mind would race, and you’d probably drop everything just to make it stop. That’s what happens in the brain during overwhelming experiences: the memory doesn’t get filed away properly.

Instead, it stays “live” — waiting for the all-clear that never comes. Over time, even small reminders can set the alarm off, as if the event is happening all over again.

Compassion at the Heart of the Process

In EMDR, this understanding sits within a compassionate frame. It’s never about pushing or reliving experiences. Before any reprocessing begins, we build a sense of grounding and safety. This helps your system feel supported rather than overwhelmed.

In my work, EMDR is always held within a Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) approach. This means we stay connected to your felt sense of safety, emotion, and embodiment throughout the process. The aim isn’t to erase memories but to help your body and mind understand that what happened is over. This allows space for calm, perspective, and self-kindness to grow.

What to Expect in a Session

Each EMDR session is carefully paced. We begin by exploring what brings you to therapy and helping you feel settled. You won’t need to recount every detail. The focus is on what arises in the moment rather than retelling the whole story.

During the reprocessing phase, I’ll guide you through short sets of eye movements or taps, checking in regularly. You may notice emotions, sensations, or thoughts shifting as your brain makes new connections. Over time, distress linked to the memory tends to lessen. New, more balanced beliefs often emerge.

What EMDR Can Help With

While EMDR was originally developed for trauma and post-traumatic stress, research now shows it can support a range of difficulties, including:

Single-incident trauma (accidents, assaults, medical events)
Complex or repeated trauma
Anxiety, panic, and phobias
Low self-worth and self-criticism
Guilt and shame linked to past experiences

The Science Behind EMDR

EMDR is grounded in extensive research. Studies have shown it to be effective for various conditions. The therapy works by helping the brain process memories in a way that reduces their emotional charge. This allows individuals to move forward without being held back by the past.

The bilateral stimulation used in EMDR can help create new neural pathways. This means the brain can learn to respond differently to triggers. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, you can feel more in control and at peace.

A Compassionate Way Forward

The goal of EMDR isn’t to forget. It’s to free up the energy that’s been locked in survival mode. This way, you can reconnect with strength, understanding, and compassion. At Compassionate Therapy Practice, EMDR is offered within a warm, collaborative space. Together, we help your brain and body finish what they started. This allows the memories that once felt overwhelming to finally settle into the past where they belong.

If you’d like to explore whether EMDR could support you, you’re welcome to reach out for an initial conversation.