Embracing Kindness: Transforming Your Inner Dialogue with Compassion Focused Therapy

Have you ever noticed how harsh your inner voice can be, especially when life gets tough? Many of us have internalised stories about ourselves that, in moments of stress, can feel like absolute facts.

Common Negative Thoughts

You might hear things like:

• “You always mess things up.”

• “You’re not good enough.”

• “You’re stupid.”

• “You’re too much.”

  
  

These thoughts are so common. Everyone I work with recognises them – and I do too. It seems to be part of being human that we end up talking to ourselves in ways we’d never use with someone we love.

The Power of Compassion Focused Therapy

Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) offers a different way. At its heart, CFT is about drawing on a bit of perspective, courage, and a commitment to ease our own suffering – especially when the inner critic is at its loudest (and it can start to shout, can’t it?).

It’s important to say that compassion isn’t just about being soft or gentle with ourselves. Sometimes, it takes real courage and strength to face our pain honestly. Imagine a firefighter running towards danger to help someone in need – not because it’s easy or comfortable, but because they care enough to act. In CFT, we learn to turn that same brave, caring commitment towards ourselves, especially when life feels overwhelming.

Exploring Your Inner Critic

In our sessions, we gently explore what fuels that inner critic and practise new, kinder ways of responding. When those old voices pipe up – “You’re failing” or “You’ll never change” – CFT helps you try something different. You learn to offer yourself understanding and patience instead of another round of self-blame.

Over time, many people find the harshness softens. Life can start to feel a little lighter, and being human becomes just a bit less lonely.

Taking the First Step Towards Healing

If you’re feeling nervous about reaching out or you’re not sure what to expect, that’s completely normal. Therapy isn’t about judgement or quick fixes – it’s about exploring things together, at your pace, in a space that’s genuinely safe and supportive.

Your free 15-minute consultation is simply a chance to talk things through, ask any questions, and see if CFT feels like the right fit for you. If speaking on the phone feels nerve-wracking (and you wouldn’t be alone in that), you’re just as welcome to email me your questions and we can see together if we’re a good fit. However you reach out, it’s always a gentle, no-pressure conversation.

What would change for you if you spoke to yourself with the same kindness you offer to others?

If you’d like to find out, I’m here to help you take that first step.

Building Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is a journey. It’s about recognising that we all struggle. We all face challenges. When we learn to be kind to ourselves, we create space for healing. This process can be transformative.

In CFT, we focus on three main areas:

1. Self-kindness: Treating ourselves with care and understanding.

2. Common humanity: Recognising that suffering is part of the shared human experience.

3. Mindfulness: Being aware of our thoughts and feelings without judgement.

   
   

These elements work together to help us cultivate a more compassionate inner dialogue.

The Benefits of Compassion Focused Therapy

CFT can lead to numerous benefits. Many people report feeling more at ease with themselves. They find it easier to cope with stress and anxiety. Relationships often improve as well. When we treat ourselves with kindness, we can extend that kindness to others.

Additionally, CFT encourages personal growth. It helps us to break free from negative patterns. We learn to replace self-criticism with self-acceptance. This shift can be life-changing.

Conclusion: Your Journey Towards Kindness

As you embark on this journey towards self-compassion, remember that it’s okay to take your time. Healing is not a race. It’s a gentle process that unfolds at your own pace.

I invite you to reflect on your inner dialogue. Consider how you can start speaking to yourself with the same kindness you offer to others.

If you’re ready to explore this path, I’m here to support you every step of the way.

Warmest wishes,

Nelle

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